When you live an average paycheck to paycheck life, it’s easy to look at those who have more money than you and think they should have it all, but that is not always true.
David H. Rosmarin, Ph.Da clinical psychologist who teaches at Harvard Medical School once worked with wealthy clients on a daily basis, and he noticed that they were not quite as satisfied as one might expect. He has come to believe that having more money is actually bad for people in a surprising way.
Dr. Rosmarin repeatedly observed that his patients’ money worsened their mental health.
In one essay for Time Magazinehe explained that money can be a difficult factor because it is useful in many ways. People who have more money are usually less stressed about how to pay their bills, which is a good thing. But there is also a dark side to it.
He described his previous work as “providing concierge mental health services to some of the wealthiest individuals and families around the world,” which sounds like a great job. Dr. Rosmarin said it was actually quite difficult because these people’s relationships were severely affected by their money, usually in a way that left them lonely.
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For example, one set of wealthy parents he worked with spent nearly $1 million to pay off their son’s gambling debts. They thought they were acting out of love, but throwing money at the problem prevented them from addressing what actually caused it in the first place, which eventually led to alienation.
Dr. Rosmarin also worked with another college student who turned to her wealthy family for help when she began to feel depressed. Instead of responding with compassion, her parents told her to feel lucky to be so privileged. She continued to deteriorate, feeling like she was in a “gilded cage.”
Money can easily get in the way of people forming connections, which is vital to everyone’s mental health.
When someone feels close to the people in their life, they are less likely to develop anxiety and depressionas well as physical conditions such as heart disease and stroke. The Harvard Study of Adult Developmentas Dr. Rosmarin himself cited, found that social connections lead to longevity and happiness in a way that other things just don’t.
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Dr. Rosmarin said that while money can make many things easier, it cannot repair broken relationships. In fact, it often makes them worse because family members don’t have to spend as much time working together to overcome challenges when they can just write a check instead.
“Money can create extraordinary opportunities and relieve tremendous stress,” he admitted. “But it cannot replace honesty, vulnerability, accountability or love. It remains the foundation of psychological well-being, no matter how many dollars are in your bank account.”
Dr. Rosemary’s thoughts can understandably feel a little out of touch to anyone on the opposite side of the financial spectrum.
If you’re anything like me, you read this information and think, “That’s great for a family that doesn’t have to struggle financially, but more money would actually help me a lot.” Research shows that there is truth in that perspective.
We’ve all been told from the time we were old enough to understand what money was that having more of it doesn’t make people happier, but a study published in Happiness Science in 2024 concluded that rich people really do feel happier. A similar one study in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences from 2023 refuted an earlier claim that people’s happiness does not increase when they earn more.
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Money is not the most important thing in the world, and if you act like it is, you will lose sight of what really matters. But the more money you have, the more access you have to high-quality health care, good living conditions, and sometimes even a flexible work schedule. It is not meaningless.
Dr. Rosemary has a point for the richest people in the world, who have so much money that it actually works against them, but it probably won’t hold for those who are concerned about where their next meal is coming from, which is an important distinction.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with bachelor’s degrees in English and journalism, covering news, psychology, lifestyle and human interest topics.
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