We’ve all read about the exaggerated gestures people who have too much money to say, “I love you.” Boyfriends proposing on jumbotrons or renting planes to follow banners. Partners planning exotic vacations that require a personal plane, or dinners at restaurants that don’t even take reservations. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that; it’s just… a lot.
So, what do you do if you’re, like the rest of us, average people? trying to pay for gasolineDon’t have the resources to impress your loved one with an eye-catching stunt? Why not try a sincere, old-fashioned – and above all – approach? That’s what our grandparents did, and they have decades of marriage under their belts, so they must be doing something right.
Here are old-fashioned courtship ideas from grandma’s playbook that happy couples steal:
1. Make a map
Do you remember? Make Valentine’s Day cards for your crush (or for some of us, less boldly, our parents) in primary school? Your mother loved them, didn’t she? Maybe she still has them taped to her refrigerator.
Your loved one will cherish a handmade card. Craft stores have lots of supplies for making paper crafts, and you can search Pinterest for lots of inventive ideas. A trip to the craft store, plus an hour or so of TLC, and you’ve created a personalized token of your love that you won’t find in any Target card aisle.
2. Give her a locket
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Is the woman you love a Jane Austen fan or a hopeless romantic? Consider giving her a locket with your photo in it. Add a lock of hair for extra effect. Medallions don’t have to be expensive. They can be easily found on Amazon, Etsy or eBay. And you’ll both feel good knowing that she literally holds you close to her heart.
3. Write a poem
It can be free-form, or you can write a sonnet or a haiku. There are plenty of online resources for writing poetry. (Yes, it’s the thought that counts; we know you’re not Edgar Allen Poe.) If you like the idea but really don’t believe you have the talent, handwriting an already written poem or having it printed is also a great idea.
Pablo Neruda And Rumi have some great poems about love. Or Google a topic like ‘romantic poems’. Find some photos on Google images. Print it out on nice paper. Bonus if you frame it. Voila! You have created another keepsake that will be cherished forever.
4. Bring her dandelions
Technically they are weeds. But for six-year-old boys, they are an expression of love… or at least something like that. Considering the cost of flowers these daysInstead, give the person you love a dandelion bouquet, tied with a beautiful ribbon. Wildflowers also work, if you can pick them legally. Don’t forget that some men like to receive flowers too! It’s the gesture, not the gift.
5. If you’re musical, write a song
If you have the opportunity, you can write the music yourself. Or take a tune you know and write your own lyrics. You can perform it live in a romantic setting or record it for your love interest to listen to again and again. If you love each other, it doesn’t matter to be perfect. Again, it’s all about the gesture – we know you’re not Jonathan Groff (who is?) – do your best to study.
6. Read a book together
Take turns reading a chapter. Choose something romantic, like Captain Corelli’s mandolin or a novel by Jane Austin. Or choose a fiction bestseller like Really insanely guilty by Liane Moriarty or The nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney.
The book tracking website, Good readhas great lists for every genre. Find a quiet, cozy place. Drink some cocoa (if it’s winter), lemonade (if it’s summer) or a glass of wine (if it’s Tuesday). Lie back and enjoy.
7. Prepare something sweet
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Almost everyone loves sweet treats. It’s even better when it’s made for you by the person who makes your life better every day.
Cookies, brownies and chocolate dipped strawberriesthere are no bad options here. If you want to go big, make something tasty to share around the office. Let them share with the world that you love them.
8. Leave love notes
Leave these in small places so that they can be discovered spontaneously. Under a pillow. In a lunch bag. Hidden in a wallet or briefcase. Typed into a screen saver. On their bathroom mirror. Remind them how much they are loved in small ways. Or write a love letter – not by text or email, but by hand on a physical piece of stationery. Do you want to wow? Plan a special dinner and exchange love letters.
9. Take them on romantic getaways
Picnics. Candlelight dinners. Walks in the forest or along the coast. A rowing boat trip, a bike ride. Dancing in the moonlight. A visit to a museum to see the Renoirs. Victorian novels are full of ideas for romantic getaways.
These old-fashioned ideas are beautiful because of their simplicity. They are sincere and authentic. And the best part: most of them are free or pretty close.
Grandma and Grandpa knew that true love is not measured in dollars spent, but in old-fashioned love and attention invested in doing something special for the one you love (which really shouldn’t be an old-fashioned concept at all). The human species has been doing it for thousands of years. Like Emma, a Jane Austen charactersaid in a novel of the same name: “There is no charm equal to the tenderness of the heart.”
Greetings Martens is an author, speaker, coach and happiness expert. Her methods are based on three decades of eclectic experience as an anthropologist, ontological coach, expert by experience and as an improvisational comedy artist.
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