Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O’Donnell were friends for years… but were they really? There’s a lot of confusion surrounding the two comedians turned talk show hosts, with O’Donnell saying they were close and DeGeneres very publicly dismissing the idea that they knew each other that well. Yes, in three, two, one.
Some may recall that during an appearance on “The Rosie O’Donnell Show” in 1996, DeGeneres first subtly alluded to her sexuality by joking about her “Ellen” character being “Lebanese” (via MyTalkShowHeroes). It was a big moment in itself, O’Donnell said People she was terrified of it, as she hadn’t come out at that point either. Still, she explained in an interview with “No filter,” “I had a very strong feeling that I didn’t want to leave her there alone, that as a homosexual I couldn’t pretend that I wasn’t the same as her.” That manifested itself in them both joking about the possibility that they were both Lebanese, and although the press didn’t notice it, O’Donnell said, “We had a… real, kind of decoded, coded interaction that everyone who was gay knew.”
Unfortunately, O’Donnell went on to say that when she came out a few years later, she didn’t feel like the support she had given DeGeneres was reciprocated. “I was never asked to go on her show. When I was, it was long after they had been on for years,” she said. O’Donnell added, “She suddenly found herself in the position I was in, where she started a show and wanted it to be successful and get the money and accolades that come with it.” And instead of deciding to stand next to me and hold my hand, which is what I did to her, she did the opposite.”
Ellen DeGeneres wouldn’t have Rosie O’Donnell on her show
Unfortunately for Rosie O’Donnell, it looks like her lack of an invite to “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” wasn’t a mere coincidence. Far from it, in a 2023 interview with The Hollywood Reportershe claimed that at one point she actually reached out asking if she could appear, but was turned down.
“I asked to continue because of something I was promoting, and she said no. And I remember saying, ‘Seriously?’ After she said no that one time, every time they asked me (to appear), I said no,” O’Donnell said. She had also addressed the stump in a performance at “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen” the year before, telling the host, “They asked me once… towards the end.” Possibly because so much time had passed, O’Donnell said she thought about it for a moment. However, there were too many years of hurt feelings for her not make things awkward. “I wanted to pass for ‘SMILF,’ but I wanted to bring someone along because I thought it might be a little less awkward, and they didn’t want to do that,” she recalled. Ultimately, the appearance fell through.
There’s always the possibility that when DeGeneres’ team told O’Donnell “no” it came down to scheduling issues rather than anything personal, but DeGeneres himself didn’t comment publicly on the matter. However, O’Donnell did tell The Hollywood Reporter that they had chatted via text and had discussed the end of DeGeneres’ own show. A step forward, but O’Donnell again acknowledged that she had hurt feelings — and not just because she wasn’t invited to “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”
Ellen publicly distanced herself from Rosie
Not being an early guest on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” is one thing, and Rosie O’Donnell herself told “No Filter” that she didn’t take it personally at first. However, it’s worth noting that, aside from the snub, DeGeneres distanced herself vocally. O’Donnell also told “No Filter” that her former guest’s comments about her were after “Larry King Live.” her show was cancelled were among the most painful she had ever experienced.
“(Larry King) asked her, ‘What happened to Rosie O’Donnell? Her show went out the window.’ And Ellen said, ‘I don’t know Rosie. We’re not friends,” O’Donnell shared, and indeed, that was a pretty accurate retelling of what DeGeneres told King. As seen in a transcription from the interview, DeGeneres told the CNN host, “I don’t know Rosie that well. I mean, I’ve talked to her, but we’re not really friends.”
Unsurprisingly, given how long they had known each other up until that point (O’Donnell has said she has photos of DeGeneres with her children as babies, and that they hung out regularly early in their careers), the TV star was gutted by this comment. She told ‘No Filter’: ‘That was one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me in show business in my life. I couldn’t believe it.’ O’Donnell also spoke about the slight on “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen,” admitting, “It hurt my feelings like a baby, and I never really got over it.” Again, DeGeneres did not respond publicly. However, in her interview with The Hollywood Reporter, O’Donnell said they briefly discussed it in their text conversation. “She wrote, ‘I’m sorry and I don’t remember that,'” O’Donnell said of what DeGeneres said to her.
Rosie believed that she and Ellen were quite close
Rosie O’Donnell has said that Ellen DeGeneres met her children as newborns, but it seems that familiarity went both ways. After all, O’Donnell also told The Hollywood Reporter that, next to a photo of DeGeneres holding her son as a baby, “I know her mother.” I was able to identify her brother without her in the room. I knew her for so many years.” That would be round 30 years, O’Donnell said on “No Filter.”
With that in mind, it’s not exactly shocking that O’Donnell has said that as soon as she heard the “Finding Nemo” actor was distancing herself from her, she immediately felt like she DeGeneres looked nothing like what she had seemed. “I just felt like I didn’t trust this person in my world,” she told The Hollywood Reporter.
Admittedly, O’Donnell found a way to make fun of the situation in the immediate aftermath of the comment. That came in the form of personalized merchandise. “I found it so disturbing that I had T-shirts made: ‘I don’t know Rosie. We’re not friends.’ And then I handed them out to my staff,” she said in “No Filter.” But even as she told the story, O’Donnell didn’t grin, and it was clear that time had not healed the wound. “It was very painful. And you know, we never got over it,” she said.
Rosie shadowed Ellen’s treatment of her staff
Some may remember that in the aftermath of the Toxic workplace claims surrounding ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’ Rosie O’Donnell spoke out in an appearance on SiriusXM’s “The Jess Cagle Show” and certainly did not hint at any beef. She even said she was glad DeGeneres took a step back to take time for herself and acknowledged that the transition from talk show darling to almost persona non grata was “a difficult thing.” That said, she noted that she didn’t entirely agree with DeGeneres’ view that fame as kindness was the sole reason for her downfall. “I don’t think it was ‘be nice’ that got her. I think that’s an oversimplification… it was a lot of things,” she said.
A few years later, O’Donnell elaborated on the situation when she pointed out to ‘No Filter’ that some of the production team behind ‘The Rosie O’Donnell Show’ had eventually gone on to work on ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’, and that she had remained close to them. “We definitely had a family. I’m still friends with many of the people who were on my staff 30 years ago,” she said, also noting that they even had annual parties to celebrate their past work together. As for her thoughts on the behind-the-scenes drama on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” she mused, “Well, I knew that the way she treated me had to be the way she treated others, and I felt very betrayed, and so I couldn’t imagine them having a similar relationship.”
While O’Donnell notably didn’t say anything about her previous collaborators talking about DeGeneres’ leadership style, she also added, “You hear things from different people.” Subtle, yet pointed.
Rosie says Ellen asked why she’s still talking about the stupidity
Ellen DeGeneres may not have publicly discussed the drama between her and Rosie O’Donnell, but according to the latter, they have been talking about it behind the scenes. Unfortunately, the fact that we know that is a pretty good indication that the conversations haven’t exactly been the most productive.
“She’s often said or written to me and said, ‘Why are you still talking about this… all these years? And I didn’t really know how to answer that. I said, ‘Well, it was profound for me. It was a profound moment,'” O’Donnell told ‘No Filter.’ O’Donnell also noted that despite the conversations they had, she never received a sincere apology. “I would have apologized. I would have said, ‘I’m really sorry that I hurt you so much, and I don’t know why I did that and it was a mistake, and I hope you can forgive me,'” she said. However, O’Donnell said that DeGeneres didn’t seem to understand that it had really been so painful for her. “I think she thinks I keep repeating it for pleasure. I don’t repeat it for pleasure. I repeat it because our careers have followed sort of parallel, intertwined paths,” she said, noting that she was also often asked about their relationship as a result. “It’s hard for me not to tell the truth,” O’Donnell said.
Unfortunately, this is a relationship that we doubt will ever be fully repaired.
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